Friday 24 January 2003

Last night

A Scotsman editorial today suggests that Robert Burns was "the Elvis of his day". Well, Burns wrote hundreds of poems and songs and used them to woo his many girlfriends.

In his "Toast to the Lassies", Ian Mowat reminded us of Rabbie's way with women and wondered whether modern Scotsmen could compete:

A Scotsman is washed up on a desert island. Out of the sea walks a young lady dressed in a rubber suit with a zip on the front. She partially pulls down the zip and brings out a fish supper, which our Scotsman devours. Pulling down the zip a bit more, she produces a can of beer, which our man drinks. Slowly pulling down the zip even more, she asks: "Would you like to play around?" The Scotsman replies: "Wonderful. You've brought your golf clubs with you!"
In response, Edinburgh City Councillor Daphne Sleigh first talked about Burns's appeal to people of different political persuasions.

She spoke next about his many affairs and numerous children, legitimate and otherwise. Then she commented:

"And some say that he wasn't a Tory. But if Burns had been around in the 1980s, he would surely have been a Conservative cabinet minister!"
Quite so.